In Love with Love

It’s been three years and counting! Yes, I myself cannot believe it. I mean, can you believe it? Because I can’t. Imagine me, the most single person in the world, managed to be in a serious romantic, not to mention amazingly happy, relationship? It really is unbelievable. After 3 years, I still can’t believe it. Hahahah... It’s like a dream.

I feel very blessed to have someone who I know will always be there through thick and thin, no matter what. There’s a comfort in knowing that whenever your world crumbles, there’s someone you can run to. I’ve never felt this way before. It’s like no matter how bad day your day becomes, everything seems to fall back into place the moment you talk to him.

The other day, we were talking about silly things and laughing our hearts out. Then out of nowhere, he suddenly told me how happy and lucky he is in a very serious manner while looking straight into my eyes. Normally I’d be creeped out but this time, I faked a slight chuckle while holding my tears back. He just smiled and held me close very tightly. I know it’s really cheesy but when you’re in that situation where you’re in a trance and intoxicatingly in-love, you’d never want it to end.

Then I woke up.

Little Boy Blue

Rise and shine, it’s a new day.
It’s time to put on your happy face and pretend everything’s okay.
Now don’t give me that look, you know how it’s done.
Just keep on trying until all hope is gone.

Just walk the walk and talk the talk.
Act like you’re a pro, as if you’re never hurt.
So wash off the frustration, and put on your best.
Even though it’s just the start of the day and yet you already want to rest.

You do the same things, hoping it will turn out well.
But you constantly fail and end up feeling like hell.
Don’t scream now, hold back the tears,
Because nobody likes a lonely person, and perhaps, nobody really cares.

*sigh*

Rinse. Repeat.

I am tired. Tired of running around in circles. Nothing's working out. Work is hell and I feel so empty. Each day, I wake up forced to do things I don't enjoy. I am not anticipating anything, no excitement, no love.

I feel like I've been looking for inspiration so hard and yet I'm constantly let down. It's all the same, all the fucking time. It's really very exhausting. How the hell am I supposed to go on like this completely uninspired and downtrodden?

Alone. Depressed. Confused.

I hate it. I badly need to get away.